doubtful

is this the right choice that i come back hometown to do my internship?

i will keep on asking myself when anything happens during this period.

am i? is this the right choice?

can i able to get through all of these?

i really not good in maintaining relationship,

no matter family, friendship, love, or watever ship (quote from LuLu, 2011)


in my opinion

when 2 people be together, when the time past,

cool down, silent war.

well, obviously i'm the person if you 3 days dint talk to me

i'll start thinking that we are in silent war.

we quarrel because a small things.



at there, i'm free, i can smell the freedom.

thou it is lonely, there is no people nagging beside me,

i no need do any house chores

i do hate do house chores, i mean, i dint make it dirty or whatever.

why do i need to clean up the mess you have made?

at there, once per month i just need to clean up my table,

my closet, my room.. sapu sapu here, sapu sapu there..

half an hour.. done!


i will willing to do if i like the house decration,

i know i'm not a interior designer, but i do hate the decoration in my house

i promise myself i'll buy a small house and decorate myself with all the things i like.

we are only 5 or maybe 6 (when my dakoko back)

but why our living room has 2 set of sofa?

6 set of big table?


haih.. my house is big! in my childhood time.. but now..

it fit in too many furniture tat useless! makes me eel my house become smaller and smaller..

i love everything simple and nice.

i wish to throw everything that i think is useless..(the things that put there for a year but dint touch at all)

my mom scold me i'm too boros don know how to appreciate..

i'm tired..


wat matter ship i feel tired in maintain..

i just shut my mouth up, shut down my mind to think it.

close my eyes to see it.

i really not good in maintain relationship..

tat's y my love life is always end fast.

like a rocket.. i do think that..

i'm not a good girl friend.

i cant tolerate with you.

i want you be my side when i need you,
and i want you get lost when i don need you.

am i cruel?

when u need me, sorry i'm not beside you,

i'm busy an account.

you are angry and i know.

we could just patch back if i say sorry to you but i just don want

i know i'm selfish.

when i need you you must be my side, when you need me if i not around i hope you can understand i'm busy.

mayb i'm just too emo to posting here my messy mind..

i also don know how to organise it

lulu ask the things happen till you cant post it in blog?

here i am.. i posting.. but i don know wat the prob.

juz simply type..

i want to runaway.