最后一首歌 不该是他

选错歌了
最后一首
不该那么选
搞到自己那么emo..
虽然曾经告诉自己
要唱到
心里没有痛的感觉
可是
现在
还不是时候
我的心
还没能放开他

想说
唱的时候
不再流泪
我办到了

泪在过后留
我 及格了吗？
唱的时候
逼着自己面对
永远不想的难堪
久久一次
不过分吧
不能再这么单纯了

妳曾說不想有天讓我知道
妳對他 有那麼好
妳說會懂 我的失落 、
不是靠寬容 就能夠解脫 
我以為我出現的時候剛好
妳和他 正說要分開
我以為妳 己對他不再期待
不縱容他 再給妳傷害 

我以為我的溫柔 能給妳整個宇宙
我以為我能全力 填滿妳感情的缺口
專心陪在妳左右 彌補他一切的錯
也許我太過天真 以為奇蹟會發生 

我以為終究妳會慢慢明白
他的心 已不在妳身上
我的關心 妳依然無動於衷
我的以為 只是我以為 

我以為我的溫柔 能給妳整個宇宙
我以為我能全力 填滿妳感情的缺口
專心陪在妳左右 彌補他一切的錯
也許我太過天真 以為奇蹟會發生 
他讓妳紅了眼眶 妳卻還笑著原諒 
原來妳早就想好妳要留在誰的身旁 
我以為我夠堅強 卻一天天的失望 
少給我一點希望 希望就不是奢望 


我以為我的溫柔 能給妳整個宇宙 
我以為我能全力 填滿妳感情的缺口 
專心陪在妳左右 彌補他一切的錯 
也許我太過天真 以為奇蹟會發生 
他讓妳紅了眼眶 妳卻還笑著原諒 
原來妳早就想好妳要留在誰的身旁 
我以為我夠堅強 卻輸得那麼絕望 
少給我一點希望 希望就不是奢望


好好的唱完这首歌
让自己的心好过点吧

Congratulation!

i am so happy..
officially end of my unemployment period..
=)

从interview的迷惘
考试的紧张
揭开result的前一瞬间
揭晓了

成功了
之前的不确定
消失了

总觉得自己太过幸运了
生活过得太过平顺
有点不切实际
可是自己又讨厌不确定感

总觉得
自己过的生活
如果有一天
我的世界
天崩地裂
我
有那个能力去面对吗？

承认自己现在无病呻吟
太过平顺？
担心
徊路曲折？
也担心

无论如何
我，有工作了～
恭喜恭喜

love, roro

black pearl

i cant say i like become black..
i cant say i like black pearl more than white pearl.
black pearl is more worth than white pearl..
my friend used to comfort me black is better than white..

however.. my skin is easy to get black..
sikit sikit ad.. hurm..
8 hours road trip..
is tiring.. i don think i can handle it anymore..

but.. the underworld.. is too beautiful..
too bad cant take the beautiful pic to have a memory..
i like beach and mountain..
maybe because i'm sabahan..
Sabah always represent nature..
when i smell the sea, the mountain..
i feel that.. i am near to my home..

the 3 days.. i don really know which island i had been..
many islands..
small, big, famous, unfamous... i don know..
hahaha..
i know redang... the summer momo tea..
lang tengah.. love u u..
perhentian..
wat else??
i don know.. too many.. i juz follow.. follow..
hahaha..

this is the trip i have no do any homework..
wat resort we stay?don know.
wat time we shud reach? don know.
don know donknow don know..

y? busy for korean exam?
haha.. i think because of i truested 7799..
friends that know each other for 4 years..
apa apa dirty stuff, unhappy stuff.. apa apa sahaja also can talk out..
no need scare face.. no image at all..
the relationship that i feel comfortable..
it is reluctant for me to leave them..

end of the month..
live it as end of my life..
keep on create memories with them..

20 may.. wake up.. sing K for 6 hours..
but i don feel is enough!!
i want sing more!! hahaha..
kok yoong ask me can open a room for myself..
coz all the song i request they all don know and never heard before~
am i too outdated? hahaha..
coz the song they order... i also don know how to sing..
T_____T

6.30 pm.. as usual.. wednesday dinner..
Starbucks~
7.00pm hurry hurry.. palli palli-korean "hurry"
we need to rush to the train station there.. 9.30pm bus..
palli palli.. palli ka!!
this word i keep on shout.. hahaha..
excited excited.. but all these..
8 hours bus.. makes my mood.. downnnn...
whole night doom doom doom..
doom here doom there..
double decker...
no nice and comfort sleep..
tada.. 5.30am.. finally.. terengganu reached!
"we all don know where we are.. some say.. pahang.. some say kelantan some say terengganu.."
but.. do we really know the exact place of terengganu?
haha.. 7799 geography failed!!
haha.. cant say whole 7799.. only those noob noob like me.. failed!!

reach there.. speed boat half an hour 8am..
checked in..SLEEP!!
noon makan makan..
1pm.. snorkeling..
i don know how to swim..
training time!!
i have life jacket.. but.. from point A to point B..
need half an hour to reach there with help of life jacket..
half an hour.. too slow d..

the mask keep on masuk air..
scare... alone.. i feel like i don wan snorkeling d!!
i want give up!!
better! lazy le.. no sun.. no black..
no energy no tired.. hahaha!! great plan!
after that.. i refuse to go down to the sea anymore..
even thou they say got baby shark.. got turtle.. apa apa..
i don wan!! blekk!!

the driver of speedboat.. here his name.. Kan..
very CUTE
he know my situation..
therefore.. tada~
he is my personal trainer..
bring me here and there.. langsung no need swim..
he bring me honeymoon..
capture some fish for me to see.. hand on hand go here and there..
wat i can say.. he treat me like a queen..

many many divers at there..
90% women... they called me..
*happy* LoL!
7799 don dare kacao me dating..
because of them.. i don know spell right or not the name..
ah seng, kan, ejack..
u guys make this trip wonderful and complete..
thank you!!

we have exchange phone number..
he called me yesterday just right after i back to KL..
ask me.. when can i go there again?
i told him.. where got so many money?
he said.. when you come here.. u r my girl and no need spend anything..
kinda touch..

however, i know.. juz friend for now..
i intro carmen to him.. ask him treat carmen wanxin them well when they reach there..
people who grown up in the beach..
they are strong..
their body shape is not like ah bong very big macho..
but.. strong.. kinda my feel..
i don like big guy..
but i like tough guy!

he is strong till can carry fat fat me.. princess hug..
u cant believe he is still slimmer than me but still cant carry me..
however.. if work in office.. there is no such strong guy anymore..
but.. work like this no much money de wor.. haih...
don think too much..
just enjoy the moment being chasing..
but i feel i'm using him..
wanna confess wit him that..

not to reply his message?
not to catch his phone?
i don know what should i do..

love, roro

想。英国

看见朋友一个一个飞往英国
过去四个月读书
回想起
我那奢侈的可怕的旅行

想。
很想很想
就算后天考试。我还在想
尤其远在英国的她WhatApps我！
更想！
很想再去一次
就算再痛苦多二十个小时的飞机
我也要！

今天的今天
你想起
你放过多少次飞机吗？
你记起多少次Plan旅行的是吗？

我记起 4年前和你们要去韩国旅程
可惜往事已过，人不再熟络
当年的约定 你记得吗？

很想旅行
很想去连夏天都很冷的你
很想念你！
第一次 终会是令我特别想念
欧洲，英国。
我们，还能见面吗？

love, roro

emo就好

小时候摔跤,
总要看看周围有没有人,
有就哭, 没有就爬起来;

长大后,
遇到不开心的事,
也要看看周围有没有人,
有就爬起来,
没有就哭..（quote Htos)

很贴切的句子
这几天发生很多不开心的事情
是自己的放不开
也是压力的扩张
希望
我能够在没人的地方
偷偷地
哭起来

sobs, roro

久违的 抉择

说 天下无敌
做 无心为力

我一直都知道
我 有选择恐惧症
杀价~ 老实说 theory我懂到完
真真做的时候
我又真的能做到这点吗？

去巴刹买菜
是一个能够锻炼你杀价的能力
可是我反倒宁愿把钱给了给就走
省的那么一两毛，一两块 作用不大吗
所以妈妈每次杀价时，我都很不耐烦（有时很精彩）在等

就是这个时候生的一两毛
以后你就可以吵赢一两百

吵赢后的一两百
你输得 又是什么呢？
退后一步来想
你们每个人bear那么一两块
有差吗？

当然，如果将心比心
我当然希望拿到最好的benefit
可是，心里不爽的是
我做到的 将心比心，你呢？
你却没有站在我的立场想

不想了
不理了
不烦了

好吧~
什么都答应了吧
输的是面子，金钱
赢得是我的大方 还有那颗不斤斤计较的心

上帝说~他给我的 都是足够的
所以~ 够用就好 够用就好

小小的祷告：
emo emo快快走~
你要在可以
可是可以帮我把那颗不安的心
安定下来吗？
可以帮我把这可不太聪明的脑袋
记多一点东西
弄懂全部要考的东西
感恩~

love, roro

日出，日落

日出 看过吗？
比起看日落的机会
日出的机会 少得可怜
就因为不常看
所以 很想看
很想用享受的心情看

你曾经沉寂在天涯里吗？
海角呢？
天涯海角，想和你去的地方。
只有我们
再一次有你的回忆里
思念。

love, roro