F-U-T-U-R-E

what is ur dream on your future?
what is your hope for you future?
wat would u want to do in ur future?

have this question bothered u so much?
how many ppl has ask you such question?

many ppl~
too many till i cant calculate how many ppl has asked the same question to me~
from a child.. my parent set the path let me walk..
slowly growing up,
i don want matrix..
but my mom insist..

i juz followed.. i cant say i regret that i followed wat my mom ask me..
enter matrix.. coz i have lots of fun inside...
i can say i regret any choice that i make in my past..
coz this is makes what am i now~ who am i now..
i'm roanne..

from matirx.. i start to know which university is the best..
university of malaya..
i donknow how good is it.. i know it is the famous university in malaysia..

sorry i dint do any reseacrh on private uni~
coz my mom say..
u cant enter private uni~ coz i don have any money to let u study~

at that time.. i don know there have "scholarship"
i dont know there is government scholarship..
start to blame ah yap.. coz she get it and she dint tell me..

thanks to sharon.. sharon oh here.. coz she tell me the information of matrix.
i enter it.. but she dint get it..
she felt upset.. i know.. at that time..
coz she told me this program.. help me submit the form even..
(i dont know hows the form looks like)

thx to her.. feel regret.. coz i seems to rampas her place to being in matrix..
finally.. in university...
the most famous uni in malaysia..
next~ wat would i do/

i choose the most famous uni in malaysia.. next things
wat would i need to do?
no idea.. find the most famous company in malaysia?

in my 1st year..
i online.. search for my mailbox in university.. the perdanamail..
i dint use it for now..

thx to my parents also..
i juz know how to ue laptop in my uni life..
though i have laptop in my matrix life.. but i don know how to use it..
except watching movie..
so.. i give it to lelia.. my rommate in matrix help me update..
and put any programs she wants..

mayb my 1st time.. i study the mail 1 by 1~
tat time i don know that is trash, junk mail..
i really read it 1 by 1~
i saw the petronas scholarship..

i apply it.. i told my fren~ they feel lazy don want apply..
then i get it.. i need to go interview or wat wat wat..
the place is far from my hostel.. is near UKM there.. near sharonlaudi there
coz of scholarship..
my 1st time.. stay at other place(sharon hostel)

go out from my safety zone.. go out exploring..
tat time meet an wat dat lou~(skip tat part)
do my 1st time of my life interview by others..
blur wit everythings...

lastly.. i get it..
when received the offer letter..
i doubt it..
i want to accept?
8 years bond~

the salary is high.. allowance is good..the bonus is incredible..
but.. lost my freedom in 8 years..
i don want to choose.. that time i'm blur..
i scare of it..

but my mom~ insist want me to accept it..
she told me~ she really don have money to afford me to study~
i want study~ i don want go to work~
don want..

i already choose to local uni.. unlike my big bro..
tshun tshing.. sinaran.. then university of Nottingham..
my 2nd ro.. he had the chance to enter private uni.. but he refuse.. he don like study~

at least.. he had the chance to enter private uni~
i don have.. i juz want to study~ i don want walk out to work environment so fast..
my big bro always laugh at me.. y keep followed ur fren way..
u cant do it of urself?

wat am i supposed to do..? every1 choose this oath i followed not ngam?.
i don know at that time. neither now~
juz blur..


now.. every things settle.. my life in future 8 years also being planned..
juz follow..

this is my life..

bur blur roanne