my gang's member

ya. i know. tomorrow i have a important test, yes, i'm now still posting my feelings, yes, i know i dint study. but, who cares?! no one care! i feel i so stupid. i do not understand what is d spiceland want to told me. (spiceland is a reference book for FAR1,2&3) yes, my gang member is all genius! i feel i'm dumb when i compared with them. why? god, why they are more intelligent compare with me. why they are so genius, why they only need to read once then will understand the whole things? why i read twice also do not understand at all! why? there got one of my gang member who homesick very much~ yes, me too! i'm homesick too. but i need to done all my assignment also, i need to study, need to do by myself! why she can go back rest and enjoy and throw everything ask me help her do her assignment?! why? do you all know how stressful am i? no~ if u know u wont blame me why i do not want to help her do assignment. my reason is not ask her be independent! my reason s just~ is just JEALOUS with her! yes, i really jealous. why she seems like no stress about education, financial support. why she can go shoppping spend 400 once a week also do not care? why when she homesick call back home, her mother can easily voice out come back to hometown skip all the lecturer, tutorial, and spend 500 in the airplane ticket? why? why for me is totally different with her. conclusion. JEALOUS!