unsuccessful

unsuccessful!
the word i hated so much
it is weird when i see this word appearing in my email
the moment i think i will comes out the word "f" or any dirty words from my mouth..
it turns out.. nothing..
nothing at all..
just a little small disappointed.. and a little bit depressed..

nothing.. this is because.. i know the result from the time i want to apply..
i know i have nothing to impress them to find me..
what am i? who am i?
nothing! just an ordinary person..
a person who do not know anything!
have no ability at all..

it is my fault..
my weaknesses..
easy to turd around.. easy to influence by others..
easy to make reckless decision..
without even think twice..
the brainless characteristic in my blood..

well..
i do feel i'm crazy when i hit the "send" button..
i do disappointed when i get the result..
but.. i think i never regret of what i am doing it..
2nd chance.. i'll do it.. but for the 2nd chance..
i will do more effort on it..

i will organize more well...
i will pray before send..
to make sure this is what He want..
not juz wanted then want..
everything has it own purpose..

think of many.. also.. means..
how depress am i..
recovering soon..
it's the time to make me feel the UNSUCCESSFUL mood..
it's not everything going smoothly every day.. every minutes...
remind me to take seriously in whatever decision i hav made
what problem i had face..

a little pray..
pray that.. getting well soon..

love, roro